Countrywide Home Loans

Countrywide called Shelley last year after they purchased her mortgage portfolio from another company. Good news: Your mortgage payments are going down from $1,467.81 per month to $1,139.34 per month!

Although the prospect of saving money is always a good thing, Shelley questioned the decrease, worrying about a potential shortage in her escrow account. She made a phone call to Countrywide. Tim, the Countrywide Dumbass on the other end of the telephone, insisted it was fine and that there was nothing to worry about.

You know what’s coming, right? Of course you do.

Shelley’s latest Countrywide Home Loans showed an escrow account shortage of $1,649.52. Big surprise, right?

So she called Countrywide again, and spoke to Samantha this time. Shelley’s options now? Either pay the $1,649.52 by June 1st or add it to her new and improved mortgage payment of $1,317.99 (increased to unfuck what Timmy fucked up.).

When asked why Tim would reduce the mortgage payment, Samantha said she couldn’t speak for Tim.

The way I see it Timmy and Sammy, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass, both work for Countrywide, and they damned well better be able to answer questions like that.

It’s no wonder this company’s been under the microscope for years on end.

BNY Mellon

BNY Mellon's Shareowner Services web site is absolutely the most un-user-friendly piece of shit web site I've ever visited in my life. Even the feedback section sucks, which really shouldn't surprise me.

Nearly every link for help or forms sends you in a big fat circle, and you end up right the hell back where you started.

My advice to anyone considering Mellon is this: Don't. They suck, and how.

Netzero

Back a few months ago when I moved to Bum Fuck Texas where broadband internet is rare, I ordered me some dial-up access with Netzero to keep up on my email (work and personal). Today, confident that the broadband service provided by a small business was reliable, I called to cancel my $9.95 per-month Netzero account.

After sitting on hold for about five minutes a rep answered and asked me how he could help me. I told him I wanted to cancel my account.

The dunce I was speaking to said he would cancel my account. Then he babbled on about how he knew broadband was much faster than dial-up, and that it was understandable I wanted to cancel my account, etc. etc. Then he mumbled on about “Wireless J” and virus protection. It was hard to hear, but I did understand he was trying to sell me shit. I told him I didn’t want to buy anything. I wanted to cancel. I wanted to go from $9.95 a month to ZERO a month, and I didn’t want to have to call back to cancel some free trial so my credit card wouldn’t billed.

He said something like, “please understand sir…” I said something like, “How ‘bout you let me speak to your supervisor.” He rambled on and I hung up, then called another number to verify my cancelation. I’m calling my bank to ensure there are no withdrawals on my credit card from those idiots.

Netzero? Fuck them. Don’t waste your time or money on that lame-ass company.

Casanova Custom Homes

Nice guy
Good carpenters
Good mason
Good roofer
Shitty painters

Poor business practices
Lost a whole lot of word-of-mouth recommendations

All Access Gift Cards

Never, ever, ever give an All Access gift card as a gift; not even to your worst enemy. I got my wife two $100 Visa gift cards as two of her Christmas gifts. She went to Dillard’s (on my good list) to buy a little something and spent over an hour and a half trying to spend the money. The Dillard’s manager was awesome, but trying to cash the cards didn’t work. They showed either a negative or a zero balance (I can’t remember).

The Dillard’s manager called the All Access Ass Holes and they told him they could credit the cards in – Get this – SEVEN DAYS. The Warden then commenced to take a big dump on the All Access Fucks, who said they could credit the cards in two hours. She was fed up by that time and left the store.

Tonight she was on line checking the balance that was promised to have been replenished. It wasn’t much of a surprise that one of the cards had a ZERO balance and the other was fifty cents in the hole.

The Warden is on the phone with these dimwits as I type. Fortunately I paid for the cards with a REAL credit card. If The Warden doesn’t square them away tonight, I’ll be disputing the charge with my bank and contacting the Better Business Bureau.

If you have a beef with them, here’s the company contact information:

NetSpend Corporation
PO Box 2136
Austin, TX 78768-2136
Fax: (512) 532-8308
https://www.allaccessgift.com/gift/index.m

Helotes Discount Carpet

How I could go so long without posting about this company is beyond me.

Back in 2004 we had them install wood floors in our house. The contractor (Four Corners Flooring) was disorganized, unprepared, unskilled, inept, and a liar.

The guy was so inept that we “convinced” the company (after much foot dragging) to make good on the shoddy workmanship. They hired another contractor who ripped up and replaced the entire floor.

Anyone in San Antonio who is considering having this company install wood floors for them should heed my advice and STAY AWAY.

Pep Boys

Although I haven’t done business with these crooks for years, I still categorize them as a company that sucks.

They did some work on my wife’s car in 1988. She was 8 months pregnant. She called me from a gas station one dark, winter evening after picking the car up to tell me that it was making some strange noises. I arrived a short time later and, after taking off the front-right tire, I found that the wheel was very nearly ready to fall off. The dumbasses hadn’t tightened the big nut that holds the whole wheel on.

I made the mistake of frequenting them again in 1989 to have my car checked out before a cross-country drive from NJ to TX. They were really the only gig in the small town where I lived at the time. One of the things I specifically requested they do was to change the fan belts; “the fan belts.” Remember that.

When the car was ready, a friend drove me to pick it up. I paid and we headed back to his place for a few drinks. It was two days before the drive, and I worked the next morning at 5:30am. Then I the thermostat on the dash shot up to stupid hot. I pulled over, popped the hood, and saw that two of the three fan belts were torn to shreds. Only two of the three belts were new. So I had my car towed to my friends house where I stayed the night, worked a 12-hour shift the next day, and then went to visit the Pep Boys idiots. Their excuse for not changing all the fan belts was that I didn’t specifically say to change all the fan belts. I explained to monkey boy that changing the fan belts means all of them, and besides, I didn’t say change only two of them. I had some choice words for monkey boy and his manager, and got my belts replaced for free.

I’ve never been to Pep Boys again, and never will.